Single Parenting

I've had a hard time associating myself with the term "single parent" although I am living alone with my children. Their dad is still so active in their lives and sees them on a regular basis, so I wasn't sure what it meant to be a single parent and how it applied to my life.

But last night, I had somewhat of a realization to what it means to me.

Throughout our marriage, Palmer has been the strict parent, and I the laid-back parent. The more strict he was, the more laid-back I became. I was doing my best to try to strike a balance for the kids by counteracting his parenting style. So, when Palmer moved out of the house I went through a bit of a rebellion against strictness and became THE laid-back parent.

Well, what that has created is an environment for my kids with little boundaries and guidelines. Alaina pushes me to find out what the limits are - because they are so unclear to her. And the lack of consequences for bad behaviors just add more confusion to the mix.

I've recently implemented some guidelines for Paige about her chores, responsibilities and how she should be spending her time after school, and that has seemed to help. I've had to implement consequences once and she wasn't too happy about it, resisted, tried to talk her way out of it, but eventually accepted them.

Now it is time to implement some guidelines for Alaina. This will be a work in progress, as parenting a three-year old can sometimes be much more challenging than parenting the twelve-year old.

I've accepted the fact that I have to strike my own balance now. I have to be the one to have the right levels of being laid-back and strict. I can't just be the laid-back parent anymore. Being a single parent means I have to be both - and find the balance that works for me and my kids.

This will be a challenging journey for me, but one that will have positive results for all of us if I work through the challenges and succeed. My dad has always taught me that Life is all about the Journey, so I'm looking at this with a positive attitude and enjoy seeing what I can learn about myself and the kids in the process.