A sad realization

Yesterday, I had to run an errand that I didn't want to take Alaina on... so I called Betty to see if Alaina could come over for an hour or so. I knew Alaina would love the visit. She misses her Betty so much.

After I picked her up, Alaina tells me that she ate two packets of fruit snacks. Clearly these have Red40 and Alaina knew it. I don't know why Betty won't follow my instructions when it comes to this allergy. She either doesn't care, or doesn't agree with me, or doesn't believe me. It makes me sad but also reinforces that it was absolutely the right decision to move Alaina to preschool.

I also have had another talk with Alaina about refusing the Red40, even if she knows the food tastes good.

So, today has been no fun. She is impulsive, not listening to normal instructions, and can't focus. She didn't nap well either. She just appears to be a child with ADHD. Sigh.

So, Alaina can no longer go to Betty's house alone. I'll have to make time take her over there for visits, and won't be able to use her as a back-up babysitter anymore.

I really hope this gets out of her system soon. Last time it took 3 days. I'm scared about how she'll act at the preschool the next few days.

One good thing meme, day seven

My baby girl, who is not much of a baby anymore, took a nap on my chest today, for almost an hour.  

This is something Alaina never does; I can't remember the last time she napped on me.  But today she blessed me.  She took a nap in her bed, but when she woke up and came downstairs, she snuggled into my lap, tucked her head on my chest up under my chin, and fell asleep.  I cherish the moments like this. 

Reflection:  I really enjoyed the last seven days of focusing on the good.  Some days were easier than others.  Some days I had to wait until the end of the day to find the best thing, other days I thought of it all day - what would happen that I'd get to write about?  This was a good exercise and something I'll try again.  

The Value of Friendship.... Part 2

I've been friends with Linda for 21 years. We met at the bus-stop at 2nd and Kendall street on the first day of 7th grade. We have the kind of friendship that has withstood all the tests of time. I often feel like she knows me better than I know myself.

But this post isn't about my friendship with Linda... it is about her friendship with Alaina. Alaina announced today that Linda is her best friend (heart swelling). I was able to witness the love Alaina has for Linda and the love Linda has for Alaina today. These pictures say it all.

Meeting Santa

We went to meet Santa today! I think I was just as excited as the kids. Santa arrived via train at the Great Overland Station which is a railroad museum housed in a remodeled and preserved Union Pacific station.




We waited at a tall fence for the train to arrive.



It was so hard for Alaina to see that I quickly hoisted her to my shoulders where she had an awesome view of the arrival. Look at this smile on her face! And then a wave to Santa.








Notice the two-fisted hair holding for comfort and the hands covering her ears avoiding the sound of the train. LOL



Her first touches from Santa. I was thrilled that she wasn't scared.





Sitting on Santa's lap - Check out that cheesy smile!

Thanksgiving Weekend

I had a wonderful time with my family over Thanksgiving weekend. 

Lorie, my BIL Jamie, their son Jackson, and his daughter Brittany arrived on Thanksgiving Day around noon.   I was so excited to see them - and met Brittany and Jackson for the first time!  Jackson is 9 months old, and Brittany is 13.  We had Thanksgiving dinner in Lawrence with my brother and his family, and several of their friends.  My girls were spending the day with Palmer and my mom and dad ate dinner together at home.  Due to my Dad's chemo schedule, he needed to avoid meals with others as much as possible.  

These pictures are of a family breakfast on Saturday morning, back at my brother's house.  He has become quite the cook!  My sis too.... I told my mom that she at least got 2 out of 3 good cooks from her kids.  You can guess which one I am!  

Jackson Parker Finley Madison



Jackson with Grandma



My sis, bro and I laughing in the kitchen



Grandpa with Paige and Brittany



Paige and Brittany - These girls hit it off so quickly. This is Paige's first cousin her age - and I'm so glad for it.



A sassy little girl






Lorie - the best aunt ever - giving Rylan his Christmas present - his very own guitar!



Uncle Jamie chatting with the little dude

Single Parenting

I've had a hard time associating myself with the term "single parent" although I am living alone with my children. Their dad is still so active in their lives and sees them on a regular basis, so I wasn't sure what it meant to be a single parent and how it applied to my life.

But last night, I had somewhat of a realization to what it means to me.

Throughout our marriage, Palmer has been the strict parent, and I the laid-back parent. The more strict he was, the more laid-back I became. I was doing my best to try to strike a balance for the kids by counteracting his parenting style. So, when Palmer moved out of the house I went through a bit of a rebellion against strictness and became THE laid-back parent.

Well, what that has created is an environment for my kids with little boundaries and guidelines. Alaina pushes me to find out what the limits are - because they are so unclear to her. And the lack of consequences for bad behaviors just add more confusion to the mix.

I've recently implemented some guidelines for Paige about her chores, responsibilities and how she should be spending her time after school, and that has seemed to help. I've had to implement consequences once and she wasn't too happy about it, resisted, tried to talk her way out of it, but eventually accepted them.

Now it is time to implement some guidelines for Alaina. This will be a work in progress, as parenting a three-year old can sometimes be much more challenging than parenting the twelve-year old.

I've accepted the fact that I have to strike my own balance now. I have to be the one to have the right levels of being laid-back and strict. I can't just be the laid-back parent anymore. Being a single parent means I have to be both - and find the balance that works for me and my kids.

This will be a challenging journey for me, but one that will have positive results for all of us if I work through the challenges and succeed. My dad has always taught me that Life is all about the Journey, so I'm looking at this with a positive attitude and enjoy seeing what I can learn about myself and the kids in the process.

An update of sorts

I've have a hard time blogging lately.  I want to get my thoughts out, but I've been overwhelmed with life in general, and I just can't get the words right.  But, I figured at least an update would do. 

1)  My Dad - He had a couple of scans last week, and the doctor came dancing in the room with the results.  His scans all appear clear of cancer.  The lumps he was feeling recently as the swelling in his legs decreased are just fluid pockets.  Speaking of the swelling.... he has been going to a lympadema clinic daily for weeks now, getting his legs wrapped with compression bandages from the foot to the hip.  Each toe even has to be wrapped separately.  It is a rather tedious process, but it is working!  His body is learning to flush itself of the extra fluids.  He has ordered compression stockings, which he'll wear daily for the rest of his life.  Hoping those arrive this week.   

2) Alaina - Alaina is pottying!  I haven't bought a pack of diapers in well over a week.  I declared this house to be diaper-free.  So, she can wear a diaper or pull up at bedtime and nap but all other times she wears panties.  She also spends quite a bit of nakie time.  I told her she could wear diapers/pullups at the babysitters and Daddy's house, but not here.  She transitioned well into that idea, and has begun using the potty at the other houses too. Yesterday she only needed one pullup at the babysitters because she used the potty all day.  I'm so proud of her and glad that we are making this transition.  

3)  Paige - What to say about Paige..... well she is in that tweendom stage that is so exasperating and energizing all at the same time.  We have those moments where we can't stand each other and have to be in separate rooms, and then the others where she can't wait to share with me all of the secrets and stories of her life, and just talks a mile a minute.  She brought home her progress report from school yesterday, and there are a few grades she could be working harder on.  I'm going to start requiring a little more effort on the school front.  

4) Chelcie - We talk to Chelcie every week, and I miss her dearly.  She is doing very well though - so I'm glad she is in the environment that she is.  Her grades are great - she is studying hard and really putting forth the effort it needs.  She will be turning 16 yrs old in a few weeks, and I just can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.  

5) My Mom - She is retiring!  December 31st is the official day.  I'm so happy for her to make this transition so she can enjoy traveling and all the crafts she loves.  My parents are planning to spend the entire month of February in Florida at my grandmother's house and are also crossing their fingers for tickets to the presidential inauguration in January.

6) The Economy - Wow... what to say.  It is taking its toll on so many, and the state government is no exception.  Work has been crazy as we look at ways to cut costs without hurting programs, a very difficult task.  And, for my personal economic issues... I'm planning on taking a second job very soon.  Still looking and trying to find one that will fit my schedule.  This paycheck-to-paycheck stuff is for the birds!

So, that is the general update on life!  Now that I've caught up, I might actually keep bloggin!   

My baby is three years old!

Alaina turned three years old today. I can't believe it - this seems like such a milestone. She is less toddler and more little kid.

She started her morning by announcing - "Happy Birthday to Me!"

I'll have pictures to add after her birthday party tomorrow, but for now, here are some random things she said today.

"When I wake up, I gonna go outside and see a hippopa-a-mus. And I gonna say hippopa-a-mus"

"Paaaaiiigggeee. Teach me how to use the Cammmm-ra"

"Daddy - I'm three! (and after he mentioned birthday presents) I gonna get a doll, and a new elmo, and new shoes.... new light-up shoes. Daddy? My Dora shoes don't light up!"

"Thank you for the stars mommy" (foil stars for her new reward chart started today)

and best of all...

"Mommy I like you"

Rub-a-dub-dub

Two girls in the tub!





Look at my two amazing girls having a blast screaming and splashing and being wild. I truly enjoyed them and felt blessed by single parenthood tonight. I could let them scream as loud as they wanted, laugh as much as they wanted and splash a few gallons of water all over the bathroom. They had so much fun. I caught some on video - where you get to see all sides of my kids... Paige's fun silly side - and her almost swearing side too. Alaina's adorable giggles, but also her aggressive side as she scratches her sister. This is a great video that shows off my kids personalities in so many ways. I love them to pieces!!!

Enjoy! Oh yeah... brace yourself... the video starts with a piercing Paige scream.

Where does she get this stuff?

I thoroughly enjoyed Alaina today. Her little mind just amazes me. I can never figure out where she learns the stuff she knows. It just cracks me up sometimes watching her brain work.

So, today we talked about vacation we are taking in August. We talked about the drive, who was going with us and who we are going to visit. She was so excited! I told her all the names of our friends we'll see on the way... Corey, Rhetta, Willon, Whit, etc etc and with each name she repeated it with this high-pitched voice, almost a squeal. She was so excited.

So, I told her we were going to Corey's house and she promptly said "That'd be fun! I'm gonna camp out!"
Hmmm - we've never camped out before, nor did we talk about camping at Corey's house, so I was curious where she got this. I say "What do you know about camping out?"
Her response....
"Hmmm... Let me think." I'm driving and can't see her expression in the mirror - but I can just imagine her finger on her chin with the Steve from Blues Clues thinking look.
Then she states "I need to camp to look up at the stars and see what they are doing."

Oh my sweet girl. She has her own ideas about beauty and I love it. At two years old she is excited to camp and look up at the stars. So - that we will do! We'll lay on blankets in Corey's yard at night and look at the stars so my little girl can see what the stars are doing at night.