One good thing meme, day six

Breakfast at Palmers... 

He called to brag about his good breakfast he is cooking, and instead of just listening to the brag - we all piled in the car for a drive to his house to join him. Me, Paige, Alaina and two of Paige's friends all joined him for eggs, sausage and pancakes.  Yum.  

One good thing meme, day four

Today the good thing is about Palmer. 

We had lots of conversations today.  They started kind of weird, odd - and unexpected.  But ended with some great resolution and support.  

Too much sharing - too quickly

I think I'm going to have to stop blogging about my relationship with Palmer for awhile. Things are down again from the last post and I really don't want this blog to be a record of all my up and down craziness.

My last post indicated that my heart is with him, and in many ways it still is and always will be. But, we realized that things were moving way too fast and we have so many issues to resolve. I'm just not sure where this is going right now, what path I'm on, or where we'll end up.

I do know that happy times are ahead, whether we are together or not.

Home is where the heart is

For the first time in my life, I've fully experienced the meaning of that phrase.

Immediately after Palmer moved out of our house, I busied myself with re-decorating and changing the house so that I could feel like home. And it worked for awhile.

But tonight sitting home alone, I began to cry. I knew that the only place that is home for me, is with him and our children.

Home is where the heart is... and my heart is too far away for my comfort.

Goodbye, Doesn't mean a thing with you and I

It has been a crazy few days - with a whirlwind of emotions that has led me down a path I never expected. In the past two days, I've spent hours and hours talking with Palmer. We said things to each other that we've never said, and opened up a long-sealed wall that had been between us. It has felt amazing.

We went on a date tonight. And while we were driving, a song came on that is one of Palmer's favorites. He listened to it with a whole new perspective, realizing that this song is really all about us and what we are going through right now. It is the new "our song."



Lyrics:

I don't know what was said, my baby
I thought that everything was fine

You say you got to get away
to find yourself, mmmm

Now lady, can't you tell
it's written all over my face

My days and nights would be a living hell
if you go away

So think about the misery
that you're gonna put me through, ooooooh

CHORUS
Goodbye, Doesn't mean a thing with you and I
Our love has stood through the test of time (Yes it has)

If you're planning to leave me behind, oh
Let me put one more thing on your mind

If you ever need my baby, send for me
I'm just a telephone call away, send for me
Put a message in a bottle baby baby, send for me
Mmmmm, Ooooooo

See you're my everything, sweet baby
My whole world revolves around you

Nothing is what I am,
without you here in my life

CHORUS 2x

Send for me
Send for me
Send for me

The Divorce Process

I started the divorce paperwork this weekend. I'd been procrastinating, which is fairly typical of me. When I find myself procrastinating something, I try to analyze the reasons why - and this one was fairly easy - it is hard work! There are no emotional attachments to the marriage that are stopping me in this. It is just the technicality of pulling together all the necessary information to get this done. It is like 3 times as hard as doing my taxes!

But the process is underway; I've started and will keep plugging away at it daily until it is done. There are a million forms to complete, parenting classes to sign up for, and money needed for the filing fees. Lets not forget the ongoing discussions with Palmer on visitation and other issues that need to get worked into the paperwork.

I'd tried to get him to sit down with me so that we could get this done together, but as was the norm throughout our marriage, he thought I'd just do it and present it to him to preview. I keep asking myself why I expect more from him now than I did during the relationship.